I was walking through the store the other day with my dad when it dawned on me, I wasn’t as shy as I used to be. Now, this might be a little random, but I had taken him to the doctor the other day. I didn’t have any problems asking questions and joking around a bit with her.
Not too long ago this would have had me drenched in sweat and forgetting what questions I was supposed to be asking. But this time it was different.
I have always been aware that I tend to be shy when I am in social situations. This also happened when I was unfamiliar with those around me. Over the years this is just something that I got used to and tried to hide from others so that they wouldn’t notice.
Years ago I started work as a server in a local restaurant, so being shy really wasn’t a good thing. But I put on what I like to call my “server face” and get the job done. I haven’t thought about my shyness in a long time, because like I said it was just a part of me.
It took a day for me to realize that the normal feelings that I have always had in such situations were gone. I still can’t pinpoint exactly when this happened. But I don’t miss the anxious or awkward feelings that I once got when I had to talk to anyone I didn’t know.
My approach to others changed.
The biggest thing that I can think of is that over the years I forced myself to talk to new people in an ordinary way. This means that I acted like it didn’t bother me to talk to people that I didn’t know.
I have been waiting tables for over 12 years, so I have had to learn to approach new customers. This meant I had to act like it didn’t scare the sh*t out of me. I used to dread meeting new people and would often get so foggy-headed and tongue-tied that I couldn’t really talk to them.
Since I have always been shy and a bit of an Introvert, I became curious about the difference between regular shyness and social anxiety.
The physical, emotional, and psychological symptoms of both are very similar:
- Those that experience shyness have the effects go away after they become comfortable in the situation.
- Those that experience social fear or anxiety feel the effects before and after the event is over, sometimes the feelings can last for days before a social event occurs.
The physical symptoms that can sometimes be experienced are:
- Nausea
- Light-headedness
- Tremors
- Difficulty breathing
- Foggy thinking.
Some of the emotional/psychological symptoms are:
- Feeling that others are negatively judging you or your performance
- The constant worry of doing/saying something wrong or embarrassing
- Fear/feelings of awkwardness around others.
The difference between the two
These are considered more then just shyness if they last for more than six months at a time. They can also appear in different social situations. Many people can experience anxiety or shyness in certain situations.
Those with social fears or anxiety experience these worse than those that are just shy in certain situations.
Now though I was able to inadvertently get over the worst of my shyness (there are still times that it comes up). I wanted to see if there were things that you could do to actively overcome a tendency to be shy, nervous or anxious.
Other ways to deal with shy or anxious feelings
There are a variety of supplements that may help to reduce feelings of anxiety. It is always best to consult a doctor before adding vitamins or supplements to your daily routine.
Many of the vitamins can be found naturally in different food, so an adjustment to your diet may be the most effective.
It is important to check what interactions vitamins or supplements may have with other medications or conditions. These are things that your doctor can advise you on.
Herbal supplements
Some supplements that you can consider are
- Vitamin B complex
- L- theanine
- Chamomile
- Lavender
- Lemon balm
These help in different ways so it is important to know what the effects are and how they can be beneficial to you.
Fitness
Over the years there have been many studies that show the positive impact that exercise can have on your overall health. There really are many benefits to regular exercise. It can not just increase your physical wellbeing but can also have a positive impact on your mental health.
There are different types of exercise that you can do from hi-impact to low-impact. Depending on your physical needs, different forms of fitness can be better than others. Again, it is best to speak with a doctor before starting any type of exercise program to make sure that it is right for you.
Meditation
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This has been something that people have long used to relax their bodies and minds.
Meditation is more than just a way to relax. It is a proven method for becoming more in tune with your body and mind, bridging the gap between the two.
One of the biggest benefits of meditation is that encourages you to become more mindful of what is really going on with you This is commonly referred to as mindfulness.
Once you start to practice mindfulness, you can get a good idea of what it is that triggers your anxiety. Allowing you to find ways to minimize the effects that it has on you.
General Self-Care
There are a lot of other things that you can do in daily life that can help to make you feel better in general. Leading a healthier life can have a huge impact on how you approach the world around you.
Simple tips for living a healthier life
- Making sure that you are getting enough sleep each night. When you are well-rested you are better able to handle the things that life throws at you and keeps your mind clear.
- Avoid alcohol as much as possible. Even though it is easy to justify the occasional drink to ease your nerves, drinking too much can have many effects on your physical and mental health. This makes it easier for feelings of anxiety or unease to rise to the surface.
These are things that I wish I had known years ago because they might have made a bigger impact on overcoming my shyness long ago. I hope that some of these tips help you if you struggle with shyness.
If there is anything else that you know of that would help let me know in the comments.
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